I have always felt a certain disconnect to the world around me. A nagging tug that wouldn't let me enjoy the moment for what it was, I can't out run it, can't erase it, I've just simply learned to just keep living. Just keep loving.Never being able to put my finger on what"it" was I came to the conclusion that "somethings missing". Two years ago I was informed that I should have had a brother, the details aren't important but the deed was done. Six years ago I should have had a son but the universe had other plans. It would be silly to say I wasn't aware that these moments affected me, I just didn't quite understand how much until this morning. The following are lyrics to a song that might be something, perhaps nothing at all. I just feel that it's important (especially in the face of the earths mighty ability to shake us off its back at a moments notice) that I share this honest moment of revelation.
Love in all things
danny axel
letters to Gabriel
I couldn't give you what you needed
guess the gods would not abide
Can't find relief in this thought
It's hard to know you, only in my mind
You mother won't believe me
she doesn't want to feel me cry
it's getting harder to believe in love
the growing distance still divides
There's no light
without your life
all this time just passing trains
there's no right
in my life
until I dream and see your face
I always ask for forgiveness
I never let myself heal
Judging by the look in her eye
she wishes none of this was real
Your father lays in sadness
He hopes to pass the time
praying for release in these words
from the shadows in the sky
There's no light
without your life
all this time just passing trains
there's no right
in my life
until I dream and see your face
I survive every night
I'm alive when she tries
I survive every night
I survive
when I turn out the light
