Sunday, March 23, 2014

Bisexual Biplanes and the bipolar elite

 Preoccupation is a terrible bother. A gangrene foot that if left unchecked will consume your entire leg. It is vicious, cunning and around us at all times! Anyone caught in the throws of masturbation as  a deadline rapidly approaches will attest to the gripping power of dicking around. 

{break for coffee}

 In fact even your loyal host is burdened with this terrible affliction. As I type this (my next editorial masterpiece) I'm skillfully avoiding the self imposed deadline I set for myself at the beginning of 2014. Twelve albums in twelve months… thats the goal. It sounds simple enough in sentence form but the really of course is much different. As intended the task is shedding light on a nugget of truth the deep recesses of my mind has been snacking on for years. 

I am an undisciplined mess.

{Break for email}

 Three months into this endeavor and again it falls on the twentieth day that the spark of motivation begins to catch flame. A panic sets in that I might not live up to my word. The thought sends riveting pain down my spine(is that my ego taking over the operation? Impossible to know for sure, i'll have to conduct more research). I begin frantically combing through the drips and drabs I've recorded the previous three weeks only to find that on it's own this is not enough to release. So it's back to the archives to try and find some moment captured when my brain was focused on the task at hand. Some beautiful moment of undisturbed creativity that will bring this entire mess into focus. 

The March gods are kind and I have something but how long can I go on like this?  Surely the well is going to dry up and I will be forced to use the time allotted for fresh ideas and hard work! Nothing like being faced with actual failure to make you realize how much you deeply want to succeed.

 At this point you might be wondering what any of this has to do with the title of the article you're currently reading… are you? Tell the truth... did you already forget what the title is? Well fear not brave reader it all comes back around in the home stretch.

{Break for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Facebook}

 The title of this article is simply a witty reference to a bunch of white noise gobbledygook I've run into these last 30 days. You see, while I've been perfecting the art of procrastination I've gathered a startling amount of information about missing planes and the veracious appetite the news media has for unique stories (BREAKING NEWS! We have no further information), I've seen through the ruse of a Want-To-Be porn star posing as a University student fallen on hard times and between the latest slutty pop tart gossip and the fake deaths of character actors I have gained knowledge, spent time and energy on all this nonsense without so much as an attempt to acquire any of it. 

I had a heart felt conversation with a good friend recently about his need to be medicated… it's a wonder we all aren't at this point. 

In truth, we mastered the art form of distraction long before the modern era of comfort and technological dopamine. If you took it all away in the blink of an eye you'd most likely find me laying on a patch of grass staring up at the clouds thinking wonderful thoughts about the way she moved in that dress and the smell she left behind. 

This life is a stroll and we're all patiently waiting for the last minute to arrive. 

We use the extremes in life to motivate us. The words "have to" get thrown around like a mantra when in fact they most often are an excuse to do what we want in that moment. It's hard work… all of it. 

Being efficient
Being a mess
Being punctual
Sleeping in
Getting laid
Getting sober
Cleaning up
Being a slob
Getting angry
Finding joy

The excuse of linear time is only going to hold up for so long. We are not our age, we are not beholden to a series of events. Focus on a single thought today, for a minute or ten or even an hour if you can and I will do the same. Finish something you've had on your mind and bask in the glow of a job well done. Log out of all your accounts and count the time it takes to log back in tomorrow. Leave the TV off and take the battery out of your phone. It will all be waiting for you when you need a fix.

Now enough of this distraction… I've got an album to finish.

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