An opinion about The Life Narcotic

A maddening sickness lies at the heart of my condition. 

I'm poisoned by the nature of blindness.

I take no satisfaction in "Progress" or material gain. 

I'm too broken tired and justified to lust for money.

I will not work for rest.

I want to be overwhelmed by my misfortunes; to toil endlessly in the fields of my own excrement. 

It never happens. 

I'm too aware of the simple truth of it all… I earn it. 

Day by day, hour to hour, second to every second as I lazily play a part in a broken narrative that our fair author has no intention of finishing. 

Were this a film we'd not rent it again. 

I don't want to be impressed by your wit or charm or even conciseness.

You don't have to tolerate mine… that much is clear. 

I'm watching an Ant crawl on coco brown skin. 

He is not planing for the day he has done enough.

To actually be in love with your survival, what a thing.

A voice coming from the walls shouts hard and direct… something about fairness and how entirely possible it could be. Give up the bag, the hang, the ammunition, the loaded gun. Find a heart inside your mind and fall in love with stillness.

I want to see you at the ocean 

smile instead of saying words

drippy

sap

words.

What's my opinion?

The atom bomb is the word

the truth is caked in vomit

uncontrolled 

on the walls 

under your fingernails.

How do you know if something's truly bad? You smell it. 

It would be rotten to blame people.

To blame decisions. 

Who in their right mind would ever decide against cold beer and BBQ? 

The sun is hot and trying to tell us something.

Stand still in the sand and burn

Burn fast and bright as hell

Talk less

say more.

I am looking long and hard for the American Dream.

Out of the Slipstream - A Writing Exercise

Filling the empty space between thoughts is harder that it looks from heaven. Try as I might I can't seem to find a lie as ugly as the truth. Preoccupation has lead to disconnection from the Mother Urge, we now fend for ourselves under the cover of darkness. Father was agreeable, it made him unhappy. I challenge the world to be more than it's bullet points, I feel mostly alone. I've been told the point of all this is experience, yet I see the curve behind me and know it's true face. Doubt leads the charge of indecision screaming louder than puerile cries, stand unmoved and watch the color drain from a fruitless effort. We are unmistakably calm in moments of true silence, these moments I enjoy. Spare your judgement for those who need it, for they are beyond your reach. The journey is long, you'll need to make camp... more than once. I began at the ending of things as a circle tends to do but in truth, I never was. In a time before spirals I am a spiral, my travels are laid out before me, I will run the curves again as I always have as I never will. Hold a place for me at the feast for at last

I'm on my way home.

Written Stream of consciousness for Ella, Brian and her.